Future Times

So life is very much in the way of looking up. I found out that I have a real possibility of graduating at the end of this term. However I'm going to really need my friend and love ones help here. So my current schedule is wrong, I get up an hour later then I thought good for me yeah. Today was a really good day, some tough moments but nothing yours truly couldn't handle. Saying even "see ya later" when you know it's going to be a while is hard. I will see K in another few weeks, why does it feel like forever. So I promised myself I would outline a few more memories before I go to bed. The first thing that came to my mind right now takes me back to my freshman year of College.

I was pretty young, I was dating a wonderful girl named Amanda Wedvik, though I was completely loyal to her, I did have a tiny thing for a girl named Michele. I know horrible of me, but I was far away, and young and stupid and not paying nearly enough attention to Amanda. So I spent a lot of time during this time in my friends' Scott and Bryan's room. They were awesome and they lived on the top floor of the annex of the Suzzy complex, somewhere I really wanted to live. I never lived there but I got better by living in the Madrone Complex. It was Bryan, Michele, and I, I believe Scott was in the room but he was not participating. We were all sitting on the couch looking at nerd stuff and the computer when the door knocked. Michele looked up and simply said in her own way. "It's Tony." It was Tony; we all had a good laugh at this moment's expense. What happened next has eluded my memory but eventually we ended up sitting on the computer, when I should have been calling Amanda and telling her how much I loved her and how she is one of the best things that ever happened to me, but hindsight is 20/20 and an all around bitch. Plus I have learned a thing or two since I was a freshman. We were sitting at the computer looking at hotornot.com. For those of you who don't know, it is a site where you post your picture and people rate you, 1-10. We were rating people and I got around to saying that I think that girls with brown eyes are amazing. Michele has brown eyes and was taken aback from this. I would like to say at this point that Michele was not attracted to me. However I would say from time to time to her and it started here "If I were not taken I would date you in a second." I can laugh about this really hard because I look at it and think. Michele and me, not the best match I have ever thought about. I mean she was and is beautiful and smart. However there is just something about her attitude towards things that doesn't always sit right with me. I don't know, just a hunch. I guess part of it, was that I was lost, and needed some foundation, though Bryan gave me a square foundation of friends, I was looking for something almost Amandaish. It was square out wrong, I will say that now, but I don't think I knew what I was doing at the time. However I will tell you, can that girl turn heads.

Thinking of those times and especially my first years at SOU are funny, I have learned and grown so much since then. You can ask one of my best friends in the world Tai if he thinks so. He will tell you how much I've grown, or be a bitch and crack a joke. That's why I like Tai so much. Writing about this memory brings me back to two more memories about my first year at SOU.

So I had just met a fair group of people, it was like the second or third night, and I had some friends and I saw there was a Karaoke thing in Hawthorn classroom. I was there, I love to sing, and I love to make a general ass of myself in front of large crowds. Though I was nervous, I knew I could sing well but I wanted more friends. So I went in and made well, a general ass out of myself. It was really fun. I met a very attractive brown eyed girl there that may or may not have been mentioned in the previous memory (my secret…. Not really it was Michele) this was nice, and we had a lot of fun, I didn't get a number or nothing but I wasn't looking for one. What was so funny about this was a few days later I was walking with a friend downtown. He was showing me around a bit and we ran into Tony, I had met Tony a few days early and he was described to me as a stereotypical Italian man whore. Tony's date was yet again a familiar brown eyed girl named Michele. He tired to introduce me when we both started laughing, and I told her I was glad to see her, it was funny especially then because we had already made connections. ALL of us were so damn nervous and hyped up that it was nice to see another friendly face that we had already made an impression too. It was really nice. We were just freshman trying to find our place. I wish I could go back…. Fix so many things but the future holds so many more opportunities.

Our third but not last memory lies on my first day ever at SOU. It was a nervous and exciting day.

I had arrived at SOU, I had two bags, and the rest of my stuff was arriving with my parents later. I signed in after I got to school by taxi. I was in Glacier room 105. I moved into my little closet of a room and didn't even set up my bed or nothing before I decided to go exploring. I walked down to the cafeteria. I was walking right in front of Cascade and I heard a "GEX" I was like no one knows me by that here, no fucking way. I turned around and there was Sandman. Bryan. He was amazing I was there and we caught up a little bit. I ate and set up my room a little then went to the barbeque that was for dinner. Well I thought I would, however the moment I got there Bryan ran up to me and told me that I was to stay where I was. A car drove up and he told me to get in and we cruised off to his friend's apartment. This is where I met two wonderful people, Dan and Daniel. They were really great to me, and have given me a lot of good heart through the years, though we have had a bit of a distance now. All of us grow up and away from friendships. They took me to their apartment where they live with Tammy and Marie. I liked Tammy, Marie could be a little harsh and I loved their Kitties. We sat there and played Apples to Apples, watched a movie and I ended up staying the night there. Get this, I have not slept in the bed that was supposed to be mine for the rest of the year, (didn't happen, I moved up to the third floor spring term, after Kj moved out, another story.) I was sleeping on their couch. The thing is Bryan was slightly allergic to cats, so he was snoring like crazy, so for the longest time I couldn't sleep. To be honest everyone, I was scared young and out of place, I cried a little. I knew I could leave at any time, they were not keeping me there, but I didn't know my way back or anything. It was a little too much for me right then. So I returned the next day and moved in more, my stuff was not to be there for another few days. So I was sitting in the Cafeteria seats and who should walk up to me, Tammy. She told me that I shouldn't eat out there, that I should always get my stuff to go and eat in Diamond Lounge. That's where the group I came to know as the Lounge rats, hung out. A group the welcomed me with open arms and a sarcastic wit, they became my friends for the next four years. They were not my only friends, but the best of friends I had for a while. I met a guy named Jake, that was described as an asshole but I'm pretty sure he is just putting on a front; in fact I know he is. I was really lucky.

Why am I doing this SOU memory drive, because K is going to school tomorrow and she is really nervous, so I started thinking of all the things that I remember from when I went to school. My first year was scary and fun. It was also this year that I started Role Playing, now I had been role-playing on the internet for some time now, but real role-playing with dice and everything, and to be honest I was almost turned off to it immediately. The first few Dms I had were not the best, I did not enjoy the games terribly too much, as predicted they were a lot of pick on the new guy. This includes the reason I don't think I will every play Exalted ever again. It was Chase's Exalted game that got me in, and mind you I like Chase, but he can be kind of unforgiving at times. I wish I had picked harder for my first Rp game, but I'm still in it now so I guess I did something right. This is not as clear a memory because it's not the happiest; my character was fairly brutalized and then made fun of because well, I was new. I was also not the type yet to defend myself to these people, a survival trait I learned fairly quickly. I should go see them all soon. It would be fun, especially because I want to go see Tai. I wish I could drag Tai's lazy ass to Eastern with me, he's a friend I don't want to be without, and probably over the years one of the friends I talked to the most. However part of this eventual move to Eastern is to move my life forward, not back to Sou. However there is always a Masters Degree I need and maybe I can convince K to go back to the town In the Valley where my heart was captured. It brings great sadness to me that those days are over; I don't regret that they are over on one hand. I am trying to be a much more adult much more responsible person. However I wish I could take K and the life I have now back down there, and still find everyone I found love in there.

I'm going to end this post with a few key lines that I remember through the years, now there will be more memories when I can stand them tomorrow

Take that Moon (Alex)

But Officer I came straight here after leaving the crime scene (Me in a Hunter Game)

Bryan I chose you for the creepy subject (Me during Apples to Apples my first day in Ashland)

But Morgan why does my mouth taste like Soy Sauce (Me just waking up after Morgan poured Soy Sauce in my mouth)

Nick, you're a black lab puppy (Tai)

Nick I will probably have sex tonight to, and I don't have to travel to the next state (Sam after I exclaimed that he was playing Dnd tonight and I was going to go get laid, I didn't, it was not confirmed if he did, I'm pretty sure the bastard did)

Nick how do you like it when I talk about Ryan? (Kelli after I was talking about Sam too much)

Nick did you just put down Tony; oh you've grown so much, I'm so proud of you (Jake)

Nick, I want to record your snores and send them to TSR for dragon noises (Morgan after listening to me sleep)

Nick you're so cute I could just rape you (Melinda)

It's not Max damage, unless it's MAX Damage (Tai, Alex or Sam about my Dnd Character)

Maybe right now I just want to be more then friends (Allison in one of our sweetest moments, her roommate walked in on us after just being dumped, FUCK ME)

You may like her, but if she gets single you don't have a chance compared to me (JM talking about our mutual crush and good friend Erin)

And last but not least

It just feels like this is home (Me one late night to Tai sitting in Madrone apartment.)

Well Goodnight all

Nick